Xander & Me: December 2008

Last Thursday Chris and I made a huge step in our parenting career.
We have decided to once and for all, get Alex "Sleep Trained"

Sleep Training?
Whats that you ask?

Well Timmy , just like we as parents need to teach our children how to eat and guide them through the stages of movement, we need to do the same with sleeping. We have to help them gain the tools to soothe themselves into falling asleep on their own. Unfortunately this involves leaving little Xan-man in his crib to fall alseep on his own and therefore leads to a lot of crying and is a very very hard thing to do.

Basically, Timmy, Sleep Training Sucks,

Sucks hard,

in one word its......

BRUTAL

Xander is left alone in his crib to cry it out and I can only imagine the hurt and fear and desperation that is going through his little mind.

I am left feeling like a cruel mother who is scarring her child for life.

Chris is left with both of us in tears while he pretends to be the strong one.

However, its about time that I confess.
I , Xander's Mom, am an Enabler.

I thought I was filling him with love and affection but I was only making him dependent on me. I have continually failed Xander by teaching him to fall asleep in my arms. Its my job as his mom to make him feel safe and loved and my heart breaks a little when he cries. I couldn't bear to hear his screaming cries of abandonment so I would pick him up. Other nights I was just so exhausted from lack of sleep myself that it was just easier to hold him in my arms all night on the worlds smallest couch.

Did I mentioned that Alex hasn't slept through the night since I recovered from my surgery?

In my head I know that these couple of weeks of tears are the right thing to do, My heart however doesn't see how it can be healthy for him to cry for two hours and then puke all over himself.
I have to pick him up right?
But If I do I will be picking him up forever right?

Either way, something needs to change.

So I made a goal within myself to give it a real try.
I have researched sleep training on the web, read this amazing book, and even talked about it with some other moms, so I finally got up the gumption and inner strength and with Chris's help we got a night schedule set up and started the training last Thursday.

I do have to admit although its been super hard on us, things have been better this time around, each night is a little better, and I really do think that its going to stick this time.

(crossing fingers and knocking on wood)

We have found that it takes twice as long for him to calm down if I am the one trying to calm him down, so usually in the early hours of the night Chris will help him. I in the mean time have to come up with ways to not rush in and pick him up so I have devised ways to distract myself like:
doing dishes...
crying ....
putting away the random toys....
folding laundry.....
sitting on my hands......
joining Facebook....

this was just Tuesday

Tonight Chris had to work a concert so I am Blogging.
I think its helping.

I don't really know if I have really summed things up this time, but it does help to get my thoughts down on paper (virtual paper) But I guess I just want ya'll to know that things aren't always easy here at Team Xander- even if he is super cute and makes me laugh like no other.

So wish us sweet dreams and less tears.