Scarred for Life

It was bound to happen.

At some point as Xander's mom I was going to give him something to really talk about at his future therapists office. You know that deep seeded memory of feeling all alone and abandoned in the world. I guess I was just hoping that memory wouldn't happen until he was three or maybe twenty, not at ten weeks.

Let me set the scene:

Our very nice weekend trip to Rockford has come to an end and its time to get back on the road and go home. And if things go as well as they did coming down, then five hours from now we should be petting Fred!

Well apparently I forgot to knock on wood because the crying started not even an hour out of town and pretty much continued for the next seven hours.
I was able to get him to take some small naps, but in between there was lots of stopping at truck-stops, fast food restaurants and even one really nice rest area. I would try to feed him, change diapers, and hold him until he felt calm enough to get back on the road and try again.

Of the many things I have learned, one thing I have learned about being a mom is that the one sound I really hate to hear is that of Alex crying.
I spend a huge amount of my time trying not to make that sound happen and I have spent even more countless nights of holding and swaddling and shushing in attempts to make the crying stop during his "fussy hour."
But whats a mom to do when your all alone and your baby is screaming his little head off and your still 200 miles from home. It just broke my heart and its a feeling I am not looking forward to having again.

All he wanted was to be held.

Well we finally did make it home, we even stopped at Chris's school on our way so that maybe daddy could make him feel a little better, and he did get held all the rest of the night.

I wish I could take back those tears, that feeling of helplessness he must have felt, but in true evil genius form, Alex has already learned how to get revenge. Yep since that horrible ride home lately the only way to stop him from crying is the "over the shoulder while standing" pose.

Yep no sitting for me - I must stand, I must rock, I must walk.
My friend Sara calls it "The law of Maximum Suffering."

I guess maybe I won't have to pay for that therapist after all.